Love Hurts (2025) review

Dir. Jonathan Eusebio

By: Steve Pulaski

Rating: ★½

It’s been almost 11 years since John Wick catapulted its way into theaters and established 87North Productions as a studio worth knowing. The brainchild of David Leitch (Atomic Blonde) and Kelly McCormick, 87North prioritized hyper-stylized action and stories revolving around enigmatic characters and grim revenge. Having skipped the John Wick movies due to an overall lack of interest, I know their repertoire to know that at their best they can deliver a blockbuster as good as any in a calendar year (The Fall Guy). The same goes for Christmas-themed movies (Violent Night).

With Love Hurts, 87North delivers their most egregious miscalculation yet. It’s already disappointing that any theatrical movie resembling a comedy these days has to feature wall-to-wall violence in order to pass. Then, you’re greeted with one as tonally erratic and messy as this one and the sheer relief is that it barely qualifies as a feature, at roughly 77 minutes before credits.

Following a career resurgence with Everything Everywhere All at Once, Ke Huy Quan gets first starring role in Love Hurts as Marvin Gable, a man with two identities. In his current city of Milwaukee — which looks nothing like Brew City because the film was shot in Manitoba — Marvin is a corny-but-well-meaning Relator. However, he’s a former hitman, well-versed in combat, who chose a life of normalcy after he was ordered to kill the love of his life, Rose (Ariana DeBose). Marvin went from taking orders from his criminal brother Knuckles (Daniel Wu) to baking cookies for potential homebuyers.

Here’s where things get really ludicrous: Marvin loved Rose so much that, when ordered to whack her, he faked her death and resigned from the hitman life, as if it would ever be that easy. Now, Rose is back, toying with everyone from Knuckles to his goofball henchmen in Otis (André Eriksen) and King (Marshawn “Beastmode” Lynch). Drew Scott, one-half of the “Property Brothers” duo, shows up as Marvin’s real-estate revival, who sells homes in the same manicured neighborhood in which our hero lives.

Most of Love Hurts involves shuffling viewers from one location to another, with a combination of character monologues and voiceovers telling us about Marvin’s past life. It’s as if we missed a more interesting movie. That said, and it’s painful to say this, but Quan doesn’t really sell either of his character’s personas very well. He’s comes across as too much of a caricature when he tries to be a nicey-nice Realtor, and in most of his combat scenes, he does more evading and blocking than actual fighting.

Part of this might be due to the fact that director Jonathan Eusebio, a career stunt coordinator and fight choreographer, choreographs these fights to the point where they feel like they’re on autopilot. They’re almost thrilling, but even for as short as Love Hurts is, you feel the rhythms of the fights start to repeat themselves. Take note of how many objects, be them framed certificates or entire refrigerators, are utilized in the combat sequences. The more nonsense in the mix, the less convincing. There is one great sequence in Love Hurts, and it’s when Otis and King find Marvin and engage in a two-on-one battle in the kitchen. What makes this set-piece compelling, beyond Lynch’s natural charisma and commentary, is Eusebio adventurous camera angles. At certain points, he gives us the POV from inside the kitchen’s microwave and fridge.

It’s in those moments you can see the ambition of Love Hurts fester. However, not only are those kinds of camera angles fleeting, there is no character development nor chemistry to entertain when the shots are simply static.

The script is such an afterthought here that there are characters crying out for something to do that are awarded very little. Lio Tipton is Marvin’s assistant, who would’ve been a more fun plus-one than watching DeBose and her Oscar-winning contemporary Quan trying to manufacture chemistry. Mustafa Shakir is only notable because he has large, half-moon shaped blades that slide out of his boots. Donning a cowboy hat and a suit, Quan’s Goonies co-star Sean Astin looks like he lost out on a role as a cowpoke in Yellowstone.

If you can look past the narrative shortcomings, inconsistent tonalities, convoluted plot, start-stop pacing, and unconvincing lead performance of Love Hurts, you might come to appreciate… the fact that there are better movies, including ones from 87North, worth your time.

Starring: Ke Huy Quan, Ariana DeBose, Daniel Wu, Marshawn “Beastmode” Lynch, Mustafa Shakir, Lio Tipon, André Eriksen, Sean Astin, and Drew Scott. Directed by: Jonathan Eusebio.