Welcome to Mooseport (2004) review

Dir. Donald Petrie

By: Steve Pulaski

Rating: ★★

Remembering Gene Hackman

1930 – 2025

I’m a believer you should never completely trash a film because it took a different direction than you anticipated. A film falling short of your expectations of quality is one thing, but slamming a film for failing to be what you thought it was going to be is a different animal I’m not one to poke and prod. I do, however, feel some mediocre films have great films inside of them, visibly wrestling to wiggle out of the submission into which they’ve been forced by the presence of a lesser product taking centerstage. Donald Petrie’s Welcome to Mooseport not only didn’t live up to my expectations but it took a route considerably less fruitful than the one right in front of it.

Instead of being a serviceable, middle-of-the-aisle comedy like My Fellow Americans or even a deceptively wry account of outsiders infiltrating the alleged “private” spaces of American politics as seen in the Kirsten Dunst-comedy Dick, Welcome to Mooseport is content with being a flimsy, circumspect effort with as much meat on its premise as a rib tip. Had this been a remarkably unremarkable write-off for 20th Century Fox and nothing more, I could accept its subpar quality with less reservations. The fact that it serves as Gene Hackman’s final performance in a film before his retirement makes it more relevant, and therefore, more disappointing in the long-run.

The film has a premise where comic possibility is boundless, but writer Tom Schulman (Dead Poets Society) goes about executing it in what is precisely the wrong way. The film revolves around two individuals from distinctively different backgrounds. One is Monroe “Eagle” Cole (Hackman), former President of the United States who endured JFK-levels of popularity and infatuation amongst the American people, and the other is Handy Harrison (Ray Romano), a local plumber and hardware store-owner who is embraced by the tight-knit community of Mooseport, Maine. Although in Mooseport to escape his rigid ex-wife Charlotte (Christine Baranski), Cole gets the idea to run for the Mayor of Mooseport after the position is left vacant after the death of the acting mayor. Becoming mayor would also secure his residence so that his possessions wouldn’t be divided up in court. For Handy, the choice is genial by comparison. Not only he is adored by those he’s kindly serviced for many years, but he’s also trying to prove to his long-time girlfriend, Sally (Maura Tierney), that he’s a man of commitment despite taking six years and counting to pop the question. The latter reason becomes more significant when Cole starts playing dirty in an attempt to steal her away from Handy.

Cole’s team is made up of an entertaining barrage of character actors, such as Marcia Gay Harden and the great Rip Torn, who brims with gruff exuberance if there ever was such a thing. Handy has June Squibb on his side, who is all you need in times of great stress and uncertainty, if you think about it. Hackman, as a performer, is more dedicated than he should be to such a thinly written political archetype, though his charisma as an actor has never been questioned after several decades in movies. Romano is oddly stiff and I don’t mean that as a testament to his comic style. Romano is famous for being like Jerry Seinfeld in subscribing a wooden demeanor and clumsy mannerisms to the characters he portrays. Although successful on his eponymous sitcom and in his recurring appearances on Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist, the animated sitcom, Romano feels way too awkward here, as if unable to adapt to the fumblings in the script required for his character nor the elevated moments when the film tries to find its footing as a romantic drama.

But the bigger issue is the plot of Cole trying to steal Sally from Handy severely undermines the greater banter and satirical angle that could’ve transpired from two combative alpha males in their own respective environments. In the world of politics, no one should be more brash and confident than Cole; his high approval rating and unmatched experience should strike fear in the eye of any challenging opponent. On that note alone, Handy’s wishy-washy attitude while running for mayor, despite being believable, doesn’t posit him as ever being a credible threat to Cole. Handy, however, is still an alpha male, albeit in a smaller sense than Cole, given his prominence in the community he deeply loves. When walking the streets of downtown Mooseport, he feels powerful but doesn’t seek to scrutinize others with it. He lives up to his cute nickname throughout the film. But because of this plodding romance that’s mostly to blame for this at-best 90-minute film stretching to 106 minutes sans credits, Hackman’s personality is squandered, Romano’s naïve, do-gooder persona is cheapened as if to produce eye-rolls on purpose, and their interactions are deflated of wit.

With that, there are two moments in Welcome to Mooseport that work effectively. One is a golf game between Cole and Handy where Handy discovers something about Cole’s often renowned talents that appears to be a surprise even to Cole himself when he’s dropped back down to Earth and forced to play fair. The sequence concludes with a humorous montage that has Handy recalling all of Cole’s strokes to a tee (pun intended, my apologies). The second is when the film fades to black into its closing credits, and I’m not being facetious. When the song “Mayor of Simpleton” by XTC began to play, I immediately realized that this film is essentially that song dramatized for a motion picture. But just like all the great opportunities that alluded Welcome to Mooseport in the writing process, that note is exactly what it is; a note as opposed to a credible observation or a successful feat by any means.

Starring: Gene Hackman, Ray Romano, Maura Tierney, Christine Baranski, Marcia Gay Harden, Rip Torn, Fred Savage, and June Squibb. Directed by: Donald Petrie.