Torque (2004) review

Dir. Joseph Kahn

By: Steve Pulaski

Rating: ★★½

Career music video director Joseph Kahn admitted that his intention with his much-maligned and mostly forgotten feature debut Torque was to do a “piss take” of the Fast and the Furious franchise. On that note, he succeeds. The irony is that at the time Kahn’s film was released, the Paul Walker/Vin Diesel-led series hadn’t become the tongue-in-cheek pillar of excess and insanity that we know it today (that truly wouldn’t happen until Fast Five was released in 2011). At one point, Martin Henderson’s Ford tells his girlfriend, Shane (Monet Mazur), “I live my life a quarter-mile at a time,” a line ripped right from Diesel’s lips.

However, Mazur is the one to double down with her response: “That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”

So strange yet so fun is it to watch a movie like Torque, which oscillates back-and-forth from being shitty to superfluously entertaining. If the plot, character motivations, and interpersonal relationships of Biker Boyz clouded your enjoyment of a flawed-but-competently-made motorcycle drama, here’s one predicated on perceived coolness, MTV aesthetics, and gratuitous posturing to the point where, if you’re someone who likes doubling back to the early aughts to catch up on those oh-so-random flicks you missed, you might have some fun with it.

Ford returns to his LA stomping grounds following half-a-year in Thailand. One of his first moves upon his return is to screw with a pair of hot-rods whilst riding his bike (he hates cars and people who drive them — Khan unsubtly references this by having a spinning, cross-section street sign reading “CARS/SUCK” in the opening sequence). Shortly thereafter, he relinks with his boys (Jay Hernandez and Will Yun Lee) and Shane. He also finds himself in the crosshairs of the Hellions biker gang (Matt Schulze), who entrusted Ford with a few bikes that were filled with crystal meth. Ford subsequently hid the bikes and alerted the FBI, hence the layover in Thailand.

Now, it seems everyone from the Hellions to a dopey FBI agent (Adam Scott) and the brother of a rival gang leader, Trey (a mean-mugging Ice Cube) want a piece of Ford. The easiest way to nail him is to pin a murder on the fresh-faced Cali boy, but Ford manages to evade the clutches of the law long enough to try and come to some kind of partnership with Trey and win the heart of Shane all over again.

Torque is spared by its ample set-pieces, including an unironically great one that takes place on a train, where Trey rides his bike atop the locomotive while Ford plows through each passenger car (and yes, there are many passengers onboard). The plot is mostly an incomprehensible marathon of menacing babble and double-crossing, but you tend not to care when the action is enticing. That’s a lofty word to use for Torque, but like the plethora of Britney, Eminem, and Backstreet music videos he’s directed over the years, Kahn trims the fat.

I’m far too old and otherwise disinterested by motorcycles to the point that I should care about this, but I also loved the costumes in Torque. It’s all leather all the time, and the hot-rods are so glossy and souped-up that maybe the most unrealistic detail in the film is the fact that these gearheads would dare risk a scratch or a ding by taking them on the road. When the characters elect to use nitrous, and whip into hyper-speed, Peter Levy’s cinematography mirrors a video game in blurring everything in encompassing view save for an eight-of-a-mile stretch of the road. Similar to the aforementioned Biker Boyz — Kid Rock might not be in Torque, but his song “Forever” sure is — which had a delightful scene shot from the tri-colored POV of inside a street light, its ability to impress you depends on how seriously you want to take it. Judging by some of your reactions to the Fast and the Furious series, I know you’re capable of suspending disbelief.

Starring: Martin Henderson, Ice Cube, Monet Mazur, Adam Scott, Matt Schulze, Jaime Pressly, Jay Hernandez, Will Yun Lee, and Faizon Love. Directed by: Joseph Kahn.